Cocooning

Thats right. After a long, looong break – I’m finally back. It feels so strange, yet so amazing to be writing again. I do feel like I need to apologise for disappearing for so long, and its only right that I give you some sort of explanation as to where I’ve been hiding.

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If I’m completely honest there is no one all encompassing reason why I decided to take a hiatus from writing – in actual fact I didn’t ‘choose’ to take time out at all. It probably sounds so cheesy but it has been your typical ‘life just got in the way’ kinda situation. The last time I blogged on here was September 2016 (crazy right!), and that month marked a serious turning point in my life thus far.

After six months off looking after the newest addition, I was thrown back into the real world with a bump. I’d become relatively skilled at cleaning vomit and potty training, but the bills were calling and this mama had to get back to work. Now you see in my head I had it all planned out – work during the week and blog on the weekends. Sounds simple enough right? Dead wrong. I’m one of those types who likes to lay it on thick, so I decided to enrol myself on a training course to take the next step in my legal career. It had been something I had put off for a few years when I started my family, so after toying with the idea for a while I bit the bullet and went for it. Like so many things in life, you wait for the ‘right’ time and that time never seems to come. Something else always seemed to pop up just when I thought I was ready to get started, so I was pushed to really evaluate my priorities.

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Thankfully the course was structured so that I’d attend uni on alternate weekends, juggling work and childcare around those hours. On reflection that whole period seems like a lifetime ago, but Lord knows the struggle took its toll. I will be the first to admit I wasn’t the easiest person to be around. I was in a place of enormous stress, exhaustion and self-pity, that eventually became unsustainable.

It’s funny because I feel the older I get, the more candid I become. I’ve been talking to a few friends lately and a common theme we seem to be experiencing is the natural shift in relationships when you are going through what I call a ‘cocoon’ period. Now, this is not a one size fits all type of thing, the cocoon represents transition, and this can mean different things for different people.

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For some it may be a time of intense career focus, working on a romantic relationship or perhaps even some financial turbulence. For me it was my studies. Whatever the cocoon is for you, one thing remains pretty consistent, when you eventually emerge from the cocoon, you feel lighter. That period seems to serve as a make or break tool for the existing relationships you have with people, and they tend to go one of two ways. You have those who support, champion and promote, and those who can’t relate and drift away. Those that fall into the latter category tend to have the expectation that you should emerge from your cocoon as you went in, and when this doesn’t happen the bond you once had disintegrates.

In my head, although this is sometimes difficult to accept, I’m learning that it is actually a very natural and progressive method of growth. Personally I have shed many cocoons over the past couple of years, but as each layer goes I am getting closer to becoming the person I want to be – and that really excites me.

Until next time x

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